What To Do On a Date With a Woman

What to do on the date

So, the big day has finally arrived! But wait. DID YOU TEXT HER YESTERDAY TO CONFIRM?!!! I’m going to assume you’re not an idiot and you did. Good job. I’m proud of you. So, ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR DATE???? Ready to know what to do on a date?

Guys, a date is easy, you’d be surprised at how easy it is. The reason you think it’s tough or you get nervous is because of one simple question in your mind, ‘WHAT IF I FUCK THIS UP?’ or some variation of that. Fair question. Let me ask you this, what happens if you do fuck up? Nothing. She’s going to tell all her friends about it? Okay, so what? You think she knows the whole city? Let me tell you something, YOU AREN’T IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR PEOPLE TO DISCUSS HOW BAD THAT ONE DATE YOU WENT ON WAS. Get over yourself. NOBODY IS THAT IMPORTANT.

So just relax. Pretend you’re having dinner with your boys, but just keep it a little tamed and be more respectful. We all know we flirt with the boys, and it almost always makes us laugh. So, don’t you think if you did the same with her, she’d laugh too? Just, like I said, keep it tame.

There are a lot of factors to consider on a date, but they require minimum effort and common sense to do. I’ll give you advice on each of these and if you apply it correctly, ALL THE WOMEN IN THE CITY will talk about how good that date was. I’m KIDDING YOU IDOT, YOU’RE STILL NOT THAT SPECIAL.

Alright, the factors are chivalry/respect, talking, manners, and attentiveness. When I explain these to you, it’ll feel like you’re on a date with me. So, please, I’m warning you now, you will fall in love with me. Try not to.

Chivalry/Respect

Gentlemen, and I say that word lightly because most of your fuckers forgot the basics of being a GENTLEMAN. Chivalry should always be SUBTLE, never on display! You’re not doing it for anyone else but you and her. You, because it’ll make you a better man. Her, because she deserves it. When I say SUBTLE, I genuinely mean that.

So, for starters, as you pick her up/meet her, COMPLIMENT HER but make it subtle. Compliment her on something that she has made an effort on!! The way she smells, the specifics of her dress, her hair, nails, whatever, but make it quick and then MOVE ON. For example, DON’T SAY, ‘Hey! How’s it going?? You smell nice!’ and then stare at her waiting for her to say thank you. DON’T DO THAT.

Instead do this, ‘Hey, how are ya? Wow, you smell nice! Ready to go?’ You see how you complimented her mid sentence and then just continued. SHE NOTICED BRO. But you don’t need to get the confirmation that she noticed. Just keep the conversation moving.

Similarly, when you’re walking up to a door, SAME THING. And no, I don’t mean compliment the door. Idiot. I mean, you guys are likely to be talking, just KEEP TALKING AS YOU OPEN THE DOOR FOR HER. She’ll very likely say ‘Thank you’ but you just continue the conversation. No need to say, ‘you’re welcome’. Why? Because when you do something naturally, you don’t normally get a thank you. So, it’ll seem like that this is something that you normally do anyway.

Now, as you walk to the seat, SPEED UP A LITTLE and AS YOU ARE WALKING, pull her chair back and KEEP WALKING TO YOURS. SHE NOTICED BRO. Again, continue your talking or whatever. It’s likely the server will take her coat if she’s wearing one so don’t worry too much about that.

Alright, you’re at the table, ready to order and the server comes to ask you. What do you say? Easy. You tell your date, ‘Be quiet and wait your turn’. Do I have to say IM JOKING?? If you really needed me to say IM JOKING, get the fuck off this site, NOW. I’m kidding my man, let’s keep going shall we.

So, the server comes, what do you do? You look at her and ask if she’s ready to order. If it’s a yes, then you say, ‘Sure, go ahead’. If it’s a no, then you tell the server, ‘Can you please give us an extra minute.’ SIMPLE RIGHT? This is CHIVALRY.

Your food is here, but it arrived first. EAT IT QUICK YOU HUNGRY MOTHERFUCKER. No, please don’t do that. YOU WAIT FOR HER. Let her get her food. I promise you; your food will NOT get cold. Take that BULLSHIT out your head. Your food literally arrives scalding hot so you’ll be fine. It shows her that you care enough to wait for her.

Listen you FUCKS. RESPECT EVERYONE. From the server to your date and everyone else in between. How do you show respect? DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE WHISTLE AT THE SERVER TO CALL HIM/HER. Excuse mes, pardon mes, sorrys. USE THEM. Respect and Chivalry go hand in hand.

Talking

Guys, you’re on a date to get to know each other better. This isn’t a staring contest. I mean, it could be but maybe do that some other time. TALK TO HER. This is simple. I shouldn’t even have to explain but I will because some of you are probably screaming, ‘WHAT DO WE TALK ABOUT’.

Look, for most of you not knowing what to talk about, the problem isn’t – not knowing what to talk about -, the problem is – what to start with -, that’s the real thing. Because once you start, it’s very easy to transition into new topics and conversations. So, where to start? Whatever it is, IT NEEDS TO BE NATURAL. Don’t just randomly start with, ‘do you like dogs?’. What the fuck? Where did that come from??

A quick opener can be about the place where you’re at. ‘Do you like the place?’, wait for her reply. Whatever her answer is, you can just follow up with a ‘do you prefer fancier places or those hard to find mom and pop shops?’. Then you can transition to how the food at mom and pop shops always tastes so authentic. This can lead to a conversation about her favorite type of food. Which can lead to conversations about traveling to that country and eating there to see the difference in cuisine authenticity. Which can then lead to a conversation about traveling.

LOOK AT THAT NATURAL TRANSITION. We literally just had a date. It’s that easy.

INTENTIONS. Fellas, it’s very important to let your intentions be known. What’re you looking for? Ask her what she’s looking for. Read my blog on how to do this on a date.

Manners

Men, I can’t believe I have to write this section but some of fuckers seriously need to be reminded of your manners. God, I sound like a grandmother. Look what y’all do to me.

First, EAT WITH YOUR MOTHERFUKIN MOUTH CLOSED. Nobody wants to see that shit, except your dentist and that’s because he’s getting paid for it. So chew with mouth closed.

DON’T TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL. Even if she asks you a question, trust me, she will wait 10 seconds if need be and actually appreciate not getting spit on by you. So, fuck it, even if it takes you longer, swallow that shit then talk. Some of your dirty fucks are laughing when I said swallow aren’t you?

Wipe your face during 30 seconds to 1-minute intervals. She’ll probably be too nervous to tell you that you have food on your face you fucking pig. But on the contrary, if she has something in her teeth, you SHOULD TELL HER. She will fucking love you for it. Why? Because it shows you have the guts to tell her something that is embarrassing for her but helps her from further embarrassment.

DO IT NATURALLY. And if you want, you can make it funny. For example, give her a tissue or napkin and say MID CONVERSATION, ‘You’ve got a little something on your face, id clean it for you but I don’t think we know each other well enough yet hahahaha’. Another gold line there fellas. You’re welcome.

Keep your fuckin elbows off the table. This is an old school rule. If she notices, then bonus points for her. If not, it’s still good for you.

That should be good enough for manners. If I forgot something, let me know.

Attentiveness

Fellas. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION. Ask her questions. Psychology states that people feel great when they talk about themselves and someone actually listens showing they’re interested in what’s being said. So, ASK QUESTIONS. But please, KEEP IT NATURAL. THIS ISNT A FUCKING INTERVIEW.

Follow up on the questions with responses. Example, ‘What was the highlight of your day today?’ and when she answers, maybe, ‘I got to go home early from work’. Then FOLLOW UP. Say something like, ‘Oh that’s awesome, lucky you, I’m jealous, do you normally work late?’ Then keep going from there. Conversations work by picking up things from the current conversation to change topic to a new conversation.

What do I mean by that? Let’s use the previous example and say she answers, ‘no, usually I work late but today there wasn’t much work left so we went home early.’ You can reply saying, ‘Oh cool, gave you some extra time to get a hobby or two in before out date eh’. Now you’ve switched to HOBBIES. See how that works??? Amazing isn’t it?

Let her TALK. Nod, reply with uh huh, okay, nice, so she knows you’re LISTENING. Remember what I told you a while earlier? When you listen, then after your date, let’s say a couple days later and you guys are texting, you can bring up things she said on her date. SHE WILL NOTICE. It’ll show her you listened and actually CARED.

So here it is. The end of the date. What do you do now? Duhhhh. Read the next blog and I’ll tell you what to do.